funko pops (are not good toys)

from taste test: the best of ultraklystron by Ultraklystron

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about

Creepy eye nightmare toys keep eating up the toy licences for my favorite cartoons and comics, and I'm getting pretty sick of it. So, a diss response.

lyrics

ch.
funko pops
are not good toys
they bring no joy
to the girls and boys

funko pops
are totally awful
overpriced and
super off model

v1.
I'm not here to harsh your buzzes
But on funko pops I must discuss this
Creepy little eyes look so disgustin'
I never get why their design is buggin'

I'm not against trading my cash for plastic
But the sculpting better be fantastic
And even if lewd the theme should be tasteful
Laura Palmer funkos are too disgraceful

I'm for making figures for collection
But art deserves art made with affection
I'm sure this all seems like pure pretension
But I want funko pops out of my toy section

v2.
Their aesthetic's made to offend, so
I'd rather blow my money on some nendos
Maybe spend my stacks with nintendo
And try to collect all the amiibos

Funko pop proliferation
Might be the last gasp of civilization
I can't support that mass creation
It steals away of all my elation

So if you buy them I ask you to stop
Hit Kotobukiya for better things to cop
Cause the only thing worse than funko pops
Is the way I just let this instrumental drop

credits

from taste test: the best of ultraklystron, track released May 16, 2017
Written, performed, recorded, mixed and produced by Karl Olson aka Ultraklystron.