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the mind explodes (remaster)

from Romance Language by Ultraklystron



The Mind Explodes
by Karl Olson

Science fiction double feature / no it's horror tonight
Chainsaw threw creatures / for sarcastic fright
Cliche villains are slain / only to come back again
Because sequels are easier / for hack-writers to pen
And Uwe Boll can direct it / shoot it in Vancouver
Rotten Tomatos says it / sucks hard like a Hoover
Bites like a vampire / with loli-goth cat ears
Who calls you Oni-sama / to aleve your fears

Then gives you a hickey / and makes you her slave
You become a night owl / whose addicted to raves
Incinerate in daylight / if you don't behave
Though if you're Vampire-ama / then you'll be her fave
But back to the point / Uwe Boll is the wackest
Need MST3K / to come back and attack this
Pathetic excuse / for a movie maker
Should be rolled like / oats made by the quakers

I have a Chamber of Secrets and Video Tapes
All old horror films all in excellent shape
Bootlegged off the late night broadcasts
Or stolen off public domain podcasts

I saw of the House of the Dead / Made wish me I was dead
"I want my 6 bucks back" / I repeatedly said
Wanted to catch Kill Bill / but my friends wouldn't pay
More than the cost / of a cheap matinee
The experience was brutal / like making patee
A concussion would have / made for a better day
Granted I take issue / with most horror films
Most seem so generic / fired in the same kiln

Made from the same clay / spun on the same wheel
Cliched wack stories / made for mass appeal
I could cut together clips / from seventy different reels
And it would still be congruent / and evenly keeled
But some of it shines / and truly horrifies
Scares you to death as / it rips out your eyes
Haunts you curses you / through and through out the eve
Leaves you so paranoid / you're unable to breath



from Romance Language, released February 14, 2007
Written, performed, recorded, mixed and produced by Karl Olson. Copyright 2007 Karl Olson.




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