Clear History

from Ultraklystron by Ultraklystron



I've never been as good
As I ever said here
Without all of your patience
I'd have been dead here

But there is not a way...
To bring back yesterday...
The history erased...
The moment betrayed...

Used to chill with my otaku every Friday
7pm we were speeding down the highway
Already socialized for 5 or 6 hours
But now we're all hungry and need something to devour

Cause forget going home, where we're all alone
Existential dread calls? We don't pick up the phone
Just for a second we're all looking for the mystic
Even if that's just the International District

Didn't get it in the moment; no honestly I missed it
Moved on to the next one. The past? I rage quit it
Cause I had to be me, and obtain a degree
Become the person who I was destined to be

And all of this something that I gotta keep saying
Cause one element that's static, one thing that's staying
Is that I stay nostalgic even though I move forward
Generating feelings that just create more words

Now there's people that I'll never see again
Or get in the same room cause they're long past friends
Things had to change to create a better base line
Though I don't even see folks over FaceTime

Just as much to blame for not keeping the balance
Being a great friend to everyone isn't a talent
That I've ever displayed, so folks feel betrayed
And gradually a never is built out of delays

And it becomes hard just to spit about shows
Cause I no longer have all of those I kept close
Half of the fun was discussing it on the weekly
Deep down I knew it'd never come together neatly

Suppose it could've been worse if I fell into urges
And didn't hold back my inner most merciless
But it was trivial to look forward to that dream
But now nothing is the same, as it wasn't what it seemed

Now people who I'd never have disparaged
Aren't an after thought to be invited to my marriage
People who I used to keep it all confided in
Are now people that I know I won't find again

Until I'm retired and browsing the obituaries
Terrifies me that the thought isn't even scary
Come to terms that even if there is afterlife
I'll stay away forever cause I know I'll never set it right

Too much gossip, politics and bad blood
Turned friendship to hate, or even worse to bad love
And even those I curse I actually kinda miss
But it's way worse when circumstances just shift

What if work and age hadn't gotten in the way -
Would we still read manga every single Friday?
Instead I made an early finish to a belated start
And left them with a bad taste; conversation heart


from Ultraklystron, released May 5, 2018




Ultraklystron Victoria, British Columbia

Making Drum n' Bass, Nerdcore, Anime Rap, Trap, Vaporwave, Beat Tapes & more since 1997. Well, started some of those at different points, but whatever ❤️

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